Patients who come to mental health practitioners seeking to rekindle the flames in a long-term relationship are often advised to embrace a quieter, compassionate love. But is that for the practitioner or the patient to decide? Preserving intensity and excitement often hinges upon the paradox of folding mystery and novelty into a stable relationship. However, people who are so committed to promoting the ideal of a “mature,” calmer love, seem to be encouraging people to deny their desires. Maybe you don’t need to choose between them, but build a relationship that has the potential to be whatever you want it to be.